from now on​.​.​.

by azere

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for Granddad John


released October 25, 2019

All songs written, produced, mixed, and mastered by Rowan Lees.

'Rheinschwimmen' lyrics and vocals by Andrew Shields
'Song of the Partisan' Brass arrangement and performance by Nathan Warnes


all rights reserved


Track Name: Epicurus' Fool
lunar eclipses and cheap liquor
and if you've ever listened to me you should now.
I'll be speaking at the volume of a whisper
dictating my history out loud
from intellect to feeling and back again
until I feel a little surer in my step
'til I sleep a little deeper at my friend's house
'til I'm happy waking up in my own bed
'til I'm happy

Wide eyed and digging for gold.
My frosted windows to the soul
say nothing of the love it feels,
to keep my lovers on their toes.
For better or for worse
from hospital to hearse/
My wit fancies its chances
but you keep your lips pursed
and your feet...
your feet firmly planted on the ground,
you take my hand and spin me round.
I'm rarely one for dancing these days
but my memory caught a sound.
That flies me back to Leicester,
playing kiss chase in the yesteryear.
Sewn up knees on school trousers
and if I plug my ears I sometimes hear
those shouts and playground scuffles
that never were resolved
until you glanced in my directi
Track Name: Leave the Light On
leave the light on when you go
I only want the dreams I wasn't sold
and I wonder if you were one of those
I wonder if you were one of those

and I wish you weren't perfect
but you make me feel that way
and if I hadn't been hurt yet
I wouldn't run so far away

sleeping with an open door
hearing all the words I can't forget
it never feels like the first time anymore
whens the last time I said what I really meant

and all the minutes turn to days to nights another bedroom
thinking about a night that my memory repressed
you taught me that my worst enemy is myself
who else to blame, who else to blame?

tracing lines on your back
another funk to get through
but everything's fucked when I try and forget you
yeah everything's fucked

sleeping with an open door
hearing all the words I can't forget
I never know what I want from love anymore
but whens the last time I ran through your head?
Track Name: Northern Souls
and what did we expect?
coffee and orange juice and fried eggs
stepping out the shower with your hair wet,
I'm in awe.

and what did we expect?
someone to hold our hand and watch the sunset
we could talk for hours and I'd never get bored.

and what did I expect?
watching you float through Paris in that sundress
everything is everything like the song says
so why do I want more?
why do I want more?

with the wrong words here I could break a heart
but everytime I try to write I don't know where to start
when I know has to finish.
So stuck on making my art that my emotions diminished
as the days turn to hours turn to minutes,
stuck in my room skipping dinner again.
the kitchen too loud, I spent too long in the mirror,
thinking I had to pretend
to be something other than what I saw.
It's just a thought,
I didn't have much else,
still remember my hands smelling of copper from those pounds and pence,
on the way to your house on the old faithful 10
I just hope I get to feel that way again
just hope I get to feel that way again
beginning without thought of an end.
Track Name: Rheinschwimmen with Andrew Shields
When you slip into the river and float downstream,
first swim a little, then tread water
to keep your head in the air, then tip it back
and kick your legs up to the surface.

With your ears underwater, the world goes silent,
and if you close your eyes, all you are is floating.
Open them to see the sky in whatever colors,
and don’t ask them to stand for anything.

Whoever you’re with is whoever you’re with,
while so many others are before and after
those who are part of you. Everybody sees each other
in the current and on the shore that you begin

to head back to with a stroke across the stream
until first one foot and then the other finds
a rock and then sand and gravel to stand on
as your body emerges from the water like a body.
Track Name: From Now On
from now on
I'll see the world for all its colours
and it won't be long
until the birds fly back for summer
and you've been gone
so I've been staring
at the constellations
wondering where I'm from
and how to get back there

I'll forget what got me here
if that takes me back to where I was...
Track Name: Song of the Partisan with Nathan Warnes
i can't see the sun
from my side of the house
so I went for a run
to shake off these doubts
i reached the reservoir in time
for all my thoughts to fall in line

and if not now
then when?
i can't see myself letting go again
but then how
and to what end?
some days i see the woods where we would play pretend

one afternoon with Grandad
in the Corbridge music store
he's handing me a guitar book
and asking if I'm sure
that this is what I want to do
and that glimmer in his eyes I'll never lose

if not myself
then who
would write all these songs for the stars and moon?
and what else
is there to do
while I'm here
waiting for you

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