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'In the meantime - forever'

by azere

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1.
all the same 02:14
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I couldn't tell you my name I've just been floating for hours now you sit by me anyway and wait til I am awake symptoms flew by like the rain til I felt like a house with the power out i felt you there anyway with a candlelight and a card game they let me home yesterday i looked on the world like a lighthouse the sheer presence of the place i looked til my light found your face now i couldn't tell you myname I have been floating for hours on end you sat by me anyway I loved you all the same
2.
what a glorious feeling 03:02
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I mourn the old me like a good friend I spend my days off tying up loose ends and running circles around the river slowly who was it that told me, that I'm not through yet? I spend my work days trying to make sense of how everyone I happen to meet seems to get by because existence is ours but its gone so soon still I'll take an hour in the Rothko room letting the colours fall into my eyes Only a summer for the flower but still it blooms i got caught in a shower and started singing the tune what a glorious feeling new life falls, and the wind blows a woman outside talks in a language I don't know I saw a bull finch out the back of my beautiful block of flats I say hello to my neighbour and he says hello back because existence is ours and it's not so bad
3.
anywhere, myself 02:09
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I guess the wind blows where the wind blows kind of thought life might be different though I tried the weekend paper crossword on my own it taught me gently how little I really know stayed up late tryna cast a spell made of all the stories I didn't know how to tell that when I wake up the feeling might swell that I could be anywhere and I could be myself myself myself my self da dum dum two thousand faces I keep in mind pass through my dreams and my waking life I can't only be here to pass the time might as well give it all one more try five hundred quid and a room of my own walking drunk on the way home fumbling for keys and I wonder if anyone's been dreaming of me like I hope like I'd hope I'd hope like I'd hope da dum dum dududum hm
4.
postcards 01:47
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sleep whispers to me says nothing will stay as it is sweet nothing on my mind as I drift through the places I've lived I sent a postcard to your last known address and you don't live there but i got a lot off my chest maybe it turned out for the best seasons go by and I don't know where I'll be next I'm always drawn to those things which make me lose my sense of self
5.
skipping 01:32
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6.
my hope 01:14
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i hope what i say means more than words i hope my hope is an active verb I heard I might not inherit the earth, after all and after all that work trying to please there was nothing left of me nothing but a worn out smile, my Qs and my Ps and my hope twisted into an ambition that choked and left its prints on the people who stayed close who tried to help whom i tried to please and who found very little left of me
7.
god's banquet 02:06
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i'm scared I might hurt women I'm scared they might hurt me so here I go into the forest with a bag full of memories hopeful tomorrows wilfully blind to the love i'd borrowed reflecting the sorrow i'd saved for myself I'll work on my anger not to keep it repressed but love is defenceless I have to accept, I had to accept last night i felt butterflies about the girl to my left shifting my seat with a silent excuse just to get closer just to see if I knew just to see if I remembered that boy in blue taking his chances, making a move but you know what the man says 'only fools rush' so I play romantic until it gets too much got a seat at god's banquet and I saved one for you maybe we could do lunch?
8.
we're all here 01:03
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we're all here, feeling a breeze a few cans, a few spliffs shared a bluetooth speaker playing, picnic foods a book, someone writing we're all here, with a body letting the world do just what it wants playing catch, running in circles for fun we're all here most of us with keys to a home in our pockets and some quiet dream sinking into the creases of our brain like the lap of a new lover
9.
suite for Naomi Osaka 04:43
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about

a spring/summer of songs, from the other side of three hundred and sixty-five. For the equinox.

+2 instrumentals for buyers xx

I was so much older then! I'm younger than that now.
new beginnings abound..

“Yes. It will get worse. But the baby, turning for the first time in its incredible veil of water, announces its presence and claims me; tells me, in that instant, that what can get worse can get better; and that what can get better can get worse. In the meantime—forever—it is entirely up to me. The baby cannot get here without me. And, while I may have known this, in one way, a little while ago, now the baby knows it, and tells me that while it will certainly be worse, once it leaves the water, what gets worse can also get better. It will be in the water for a while yet: but it is preparing itself for a transformation. And so must I. I said, “It’s all right. I’m not afraid.”

James Baldwin - If Beale Street Could Talk

credits

released March 20, 2022

written recorded produced mixed and mastered by Rowan Lees
artwork too

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about

azere image

azere Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

I make songs - listen here 📀

I make soundtracks - reach me at azeremusic@gmail.com 💫

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